I REFUSE TO LIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS. NOT EVEN MY MOTELS ARE THIS BAD.

...BY THE WAY, WHERE AM I AND WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE?

[ OUT IN THE CAPSLOCK FOREST, THERE'S A BIG BONFIRE. THIS GUY HAS A BOX OF SHIRTS LIKE THIS, A COOLER FILLED WITH BEER, AND A BOOMBOX PLAYING THIS SONG. WHEE, THEM SHIRTS MAKE DAMN GOOD KINDLING. ]

THAT DADGUM ASS....

...THE SNOW IS ALL GONE.

...THIS MUST BE KALININGRAD'S FAULT. HE WILL NEED TO BE PUNISHED FOR THIS WHEN I FIND HIM. PERHAPS I WILL LET HIM EXPERIENCE THE KOLKHOZ FIRST-HAND...

BUT FIRST, WHERE IS POLOSA...

[ SO EVERYWHERE IN THIS DADGUM PLACE YOU'LL SEE FLIERS THAT ALL LOOK LIKE THIS: ]

ATTENTION, LADIES


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NE, NE....

H-HAS ANYONE SEEN GERMANY?

EDIT: BACK

[ ALL OF YOUR BOOZE IS GONE NOW-- OR IS IT? LOOK CAREFULLY AT THE BOTTLES-- THEY NOW HAVE BLACK LABELS AND JUNK. THIS IS MADNESS! ]


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[ LOCATION: JUST ON THE EDGES OF THE FOREST. TIME: 3:30 AM. ]

[ BANG! ]

SHOOTFIRE. I MISSED TH' LITTLE BASTARD!

[ THAT'S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTS. THIS GUY, TENNESSEE, IS CRAZY ENOUGH TO SHOOT SQUIRRELS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HOPE YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON GETTING A LOT OF SLEEP. ]

[ OOC; MUN HAS TO SLEEP AND CURSES HAVING A JOB. COME-- LEAVE ( Read more... )